We are currently week one of the hostage situation. There has been limited learning, sleep ins longer than needed and only mild attempts at instilling some “school work”.
Despite this, I’ve discovered a few things.
• I can’t do this without swearing.
• An SSO would be handy right now.
• I’m not sure if the people who voluntarily home school are slightly mad or slightly amazing.
• My children are not the children I read about in their school reports. The versions I have suck.
• Don’t give the youngest one the novelty pen with the little ball that spins around.
• Hoochiemumma Home School needs a stricter “Feeding Time Policy”. Currently we have 12 recess breaks for each child at varying times of the day.
• Year 6 maths is harder than I remember, but thanks to Mr Leo’s maths obsession I am the queen of fractions.
• Saying “just because” isn’t kosher in teaching land, which leads to the fact that…
• I’m really bad at explaining division.
• I don’t know my times tables as well as I thought I did.
• Everything is boring when you’re 8 and the use of full stops is apparently overrated.
• I think I need to take a mental health day tomorrow.
And finally….
• Teachers need to be paid a gazillion dollars a day. A GAZILLION. (Which can be divided by a Zillion with the quotient being a Jillion)
Well, 2020 can go and choke on a roll of sorbent. I remember thinking that 2020 had a special ring to it. I thought that this year was going to be something special.
This was NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND.
On Sunday night I sat on the lounge talking with Mr Hooch, trying to figure out if we should send the kids to school or not. The only people who read this would know our situation, but just in case more than 5 people click the link, we have a son who has Cystic Fibrosis. He therefore falls into the ‘vulnerable’ category if he were to contract Covid-19.
I have felt this kind of anxiety before when Mac was a brand new baby, and I was a brand new mum. I cannot even imagine what the new parents of little babies with CF are feeling right now. It’s tough enough without the added fear of this unknown virus.
And what did I do when I felt like this? I mopped the floor a lot. Weird. But I’ve found that I’ve done it again. My floors don’t know what’s hit them because let’s just say, I’ve been a bit laissez-faire when it comes to whipping out the vileda. Also, we made the choice to tuck him away a bit. When I say a bit, I mean that I didn’t leave the house with him for a month, and anyone with a slight cough or cold would receive some serious laser eye gaze. I was young and polite back then. If you come near my kid now with your snot and cough I might just tell you to fuck off. I’m 45 now and write complaint letters like all good women who are over 40. People change.
So in the light of the arrival of the newest member of the Corona family, my first instinct was to hook on the caravan, head north and sit in the desert for 6 months. After I calmed down and realised that I don’t care much for the desert climate, I figured we should just lay low. On Sunday I thought this may be seen as an over-reaction, but it seems in the two days that followed, Australia joined in. There are no convoys of caravans heading to the desert, but there has been enormous changes for the world, our country and our community. A sad reality, but selfishly, I’m relieved that the decisions we’ve been grappling with have been taken out of our hands.
Scarlett and Elliot also get the fringe benefit of staying home at this time. I think the novelty may wear off pretty quickly because we haven’t hit full strength “home school” so I’m expecting that their apparent early joy will no doubt come crashing down when they realise there was a good reason I didn’t pursue the idea of teaching.
Over the weekend I filled more information about Covid-19 into my head than a doomsday prepper fills pasta into a trolley.
All I know from my self induced media frenzy is that we need everyone to stay healthy to reduce the risk. The more people who stay healthy also help keep those who fall in the vulnerable category to stay safe. It ain’t rocket science…
Please do the “social distancing” thing. It’s such a lame phrase akin to “conscious uncoupling” but do it anyway. Wash your hands… don’t spread your snot and sneezes, and most importantly please think of others. M
